This One Thing Has The Power To Ruin Fall In Kokomo
By DREW LARISON
The Kokomo Post Staff
Fall is easily my favorite time of the year in Kokomo. Most of the things I love the most happen during the autumn season. Football season starts in fall. I can comfortably wear a hoodie in fall. It’s the best season for eating on a patio at a restaurant. Halloween happens in fall. Fall is the best. However, one thing exists more in fall than in any other season. This one thing has the power to ruin all of the things I mentioned above. That one thing? Bees.
Now, I know how important bees are to our world. Don’t come at me with that nonsense. I feel like I need to also admit to some biases I have. I am allergic to bees. I’m not going to die if I get stung, but I do swell until I get some medication. That’s not what I’m saying here. What I’m saying is that bees have more power to ruin any sort of fall outdoor moment of enjoyment, and you can’t argue with me. It’s just the truth.
Need some examples? Say less.
Football
I want you to imagine you’re enjoying a sunny, beautiful, 65-degree day at a college football stadium. You had a good time tailgating before the game and now your team is dominating their rival. The crowd is hype. You’re sitting there in your 50-yard line seats with a soda and some caramel corn. You love caramel corn, right? Do you know who also loves caramel? BEES. They love it so much. They will also love terrifying you trying to land in your popcorn and soda, all game long.
Pumpkin Patch
Who doesn’t love a good visit to the pumpkin patch? It’s a family tradition of ours to go up to McClure’s Orchard once a year to buy some apples that will end up rotting in our fridge, some pumpkins that will end up being eaten by squirrels, and take four sips of some apple cider slushies. Why only four sips, you ask? Do you know who also loves apple cider slushies? BEES. They will attack your straw as quickly as they can, with a force unknown to mankind. Do you know how sharks can smell blood in the water? Bees can smell apple cider slushies in the air. The combination of my terror of being stung combined with my children running for their lives at the sound of a bee buzzing can easily ruin a day at the pumpkin patch.
Patio Dining
I’m a big fan of eating on a restaurant’s patio instead of inside its building. There’s something about the sounds of the world while enjoying a meal someone made for you that is such a great feeling. Eating outside in the summer is nice, but it’s often way too hot and uncomfortable. Fall brings us the best weather for outdoor dining, hands down. A sunny 65- or 70-degree day is prime patio dining weather. However, the combination of food and fall outdoors can only equal one thing. BEES. Bees will find your restaurant and attack your plate and emotions like a fighter plane attack scene in “Top Gun.”
So, in summary, fall is great until a swarm of bees shows up and tries to ruin everything that makes fall great. Bees ruin everything good in life during the months of September through November in Kokomo. This is not my opinion; it’s fact.