The Kokomo Post Rewinds: Superhero Movies
By DAN WEST
The Kokomo Post Staff
Nostalgia can be a heck of a thing, but do the movies we loved as kids really hold up? Is “Space Jam” really my favorite movie, or have I just not watched it since I was 10? In The Kokomo Post Rewinds, we will check out movies and shows from decades past and see if they hold up to today’s scrutiny. This week’s theme: superhero movies!
I was expecting a lot more of this, and a lot less “Raphael spending 20 minutes in a coma.”
“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” (1990)
I absolutely loved this movie as a child. Obviously I was a fan of the cartoon, so seeing these four ninja reptiles on the big screen blew me away. I wanted nunchucks, I wanted a katana, I wanted a bo staff, I even wanted sais, despite them objectively being the worst of the weapons. I just wanted to feel like a part of this movie. The sequels got worse over time, but they were still tons of ridiculous fun.
The Verdict: This is a great movie. The practical effects are awesome, the actors do a great job working around giant foam turtle suits, and the one-liners are fun. What I forgot was how dark and violent this movie is. I remembered bright colors and Michaelangelo jokes, and while this movie did have some of that, it wasn’t the main focus. I know it seems silly to comment on how violent a movie about ninjas is, but this is a kids’ movie where a man uppercuts someone with a cricket bat and another man gets crushed by a trash compactor. None of that makes it a bad movie; I was just surprised a franchise that has a fight at a Vanilla Ice concert took itself that seriously.
RATING: 4 Ecto Coolers out of 5. Despite some surprise at the intensity of the violence, this is a truly great movie. This movie is from an era before everything was CGI and creative editing, so while it seems clunky sometimes, they do an awesome job. There have been so many sequels and reboots that it’s hard to pick just one great moment to share, so I went with the obvious: Ninja Rap.
I didn’t say it was a subtle movie, I said it was a good movie.
“Batman” (1989)
I credit this movie with starting my love of comic books and superheroes. I remember quoting this movie endlessly (probably to the opposite of delight for my father). This movie also started my love of music from Prince. I remember this fun trivia fact: Tim Burton approached Prince about doing a song for the Batman soundtrack. Prince agreed, then came back with an entire album. Before rewatching, the scene that stuck with me the longest was Joker (played by Jack Nicholson, the best Joker until Heath Ledger stole the show) walking through an art museum defacing the paintings while blasting “Partyman” by Prince.
The Verdict: My dad let me watch this movie when I was 6 years old. After watching it, I called him to ask what he was thinking, because this movie is DARK. It has body horror, chemical terrorism, and multiple murders onscreen. Sure, Jack Nicholson is dressed as a clown in a purple suit while doing it, but if anything that makes it more horrifying. The craziest thing is, none of that makes this a bad movie. The acting, while VERY 80s, is on point. Michael Keaton does the best job out of any Batman actor at playing both Bruce Wayne and Batman. Plenty of actors have been good at one or the other, but nobody beats him at switching back and forth. Nicholson is an amazing Joker, and brief moments of Billy Dee Williams as the mayor shine as he just oozes charisma. I adore this movie, but maybe I shouldn’t have seen it before I knew how to ride a bike without training wheels.
RATING: 5 Kelly Kapowskis out of 5. This movie helped lay a foundation for successful superhero movies. Without Michael Keaton as Batman and Christopher Reeves as Superman showing that audiences would enjoy a movie about a costumed hero, we’d never have gotten The Avengers. Head over here for a fun superhero movie montage showing where we started and how far we’ve come.
I said the action is fun “for the most part.”
“Blade”
This movie has a little of everything: Martial arts fighting, supernatural thrills, a killer soundtrack, Kris Kristofferson . . . everything. I always liked vampires as a kid, and I’ve been a fan of Wesley Snipes pretty much forever. I loved this movie, it checked just about every box a 13 year old boy could ask for. I couldn’t wait to watch this movie.
The Verdict: This movie is . . . bad. It’s just not great. The action is still fun for the most part, but the acting is pretty stilted, there are multiple scenes where they just torture people, the CGI is incredibly dated. It’s not a great movie, and that broke my heart. Stephen Dorff is a major highlight as the villain of this movie, acting the heck out of a mediocre script. The soundtrack is still pretty great, and this has been what HR professionals call a “compliment sandwich.”
RATING: 2 Beanie Babies that will totally be worth a fortune someday out of 5. There’s just no saving a movie that tries to convince me Vampires can go out in the daytime as long as they wear sunscreen. The good news is that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is rebooting Blade, and everything they touch turns to gold with very few exceptions (Iron Man 3, the first two Thor movies). Learn more about it here.
