The Kokomo Post Rewinds: Christmas movies
By DAN WEST
The Kokomo Post staff
Nostalgia can be a heck of a thing, but do the movies we loved as kids really hold up? Is “Space Jam” really my favorite movie, or have I just not watched it since I was 10? In The Kokomo Post Rewinds, we will check out movies and shows from decades past and see if they hold up to today’s scrutiny. This week’s theme: Christmas!
Get rid of this scene, and you lose 80% of what’s interesting in this movie.
“A Christmas Story”
This is the last week of my internship, so I wanted to go out with a topic everyone can enjoy. I never really had strong feelings about this Christmas classic. I remember watching it every year at Christmas, but nothing about it wowed me. Sure, I laughed at the “triple dog dare” scene, and I cheered when Ralphie finally beat up the bully. But there was really nothing overall that stood out to me about this movie.
The Verdict: This movie is fine. That’s the best I can say about it. I have no idea why it became a classic other than because some network executive decided it should be, so they play it every year. Some of the jokes are pretty funny, but overall it just seems like a standard family doing standard things. Without Ralphie’s imaginary scenarios and the tongue scene, I don’t think anyone would have given this movie a second thought. It’s not even bad, it’s just . . . fine. I think it’s just a product of a different era of humor.
RATING: 3 bulky snowsuits out of 5: There’s nothing wrong with this movie, but don’t expect your kids to enjoy it if you make them watch it at Christmas. And if you watch it without your nostalgia glasses on, don’t expect to enjoy it yourself either. But there’s always this medley of “you’ll shoot your eye out” to bring back the nostalgia at the end of the day.
I don’t know if this kind of language is necessary.
“Elf”
The most recent movie on this list, it became a classic due to a surprisingly powerhouse cast and Will Ferrell’s childlike wonder and likability. I really enjoyed this movie when it first came out, and I remember repeatedly rewinding (say that three times fast) the scene where Ferrell springboards off the couch to jump onto the Christmas tree. I was blown away when I learned James Caan was the grumpy father, and Bob Newhart played Poppa Elf. This was also before Zooey Deschanel decided to start making the big bucks by being quirky and having bangs, so I forgot she was in this movie too.
The Verdict: This is still a great movie, even if it has trouble figuring out who it wants as its target audience. Sometimes it’s a very kid-friendly movie, with claymation puffins and jokes about not eating yellow snow. But sometimes it’s a joke about a peep show or getting drunk at work. I had a blast watching this movie, and Ed Asner soars as Santa. Every single person is perfect for the role they were cast, this is just a fun and silly movie. The Peter Dinklage cameo was excellent. I really have no complaints about this movie, other than the lack of a target audience for the jokes.
RATING: 4 Christmasgrams out of 5: This is a new classic for a reason. Will Ferrell is delightful as a childlike adult who just learned he isn’t an elf as he explores the human world. I didn’t expect to still like this movie as much as I did, and the tree scene still makes me laugh out loud like a maniac.
You know the rest.
“Die Hard”
“But Dan, Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie!” Yes, it is. It’s about a family overcoming adversity to be together, it heavily features Christmas music, and the entire plot wouldn’t have happened if it hadn’t been Christmas. It’s more of a Christmas movie than “It’s A Wonderful Life,” which doesn’t involve Christmas at all, they just show it annually because it’s public domain so they can do it for free. Sorry, that was a little defensive.
I loved Die Hard as a kid, and I’ve seen it several times since then but it has been a while. I remember there being a lot of profanity and fairly brutal violence, so I’m not sure why my parents let me watch it. I remember laughing at the quips and gasping at the violence, everything you want from a classic 80s action movie.
The Verdict: Yeah … why did my parents let me watch this movie? It isn’t just the violence that’s intense, the entire movie is. The casual drug use, the gratuitous nudity early on, the rampant profanity, and then yes, the violence throughout. I still thoroughly enjoyed this movie, but if there was ever a sign that my parents didn’t watch a movie before telling me that I could, it’s this one right here. Die Hard starts a little slow, and doesn’t really pick up the pace until close to 40 minutes in when the action starts. But once the action starts, it’s pretty great all the way through. This was Alan Rickman’s first on-screen role, and he shines as the clever terrorist/thief Hans Gruber.
RATING: 4 non-traditional Christmas movies out of 5: This definitely isn’t one you can show the kids, and too many sequels have diluted how great this movie is. Die Hard 2 was just okay, and 3 was great, but the later sequels were dialed down to a PG-13 audience, and that really hurt the franchise. Youtube channel CinemaSins has all the details for what went wrong with later iterations here (don’t worry, this video is PG-13 due to some creative editing).
