Kokomo Post Rewinds: Horror Movies
By DAN WEST
The Kokomo Post staff
Nostalgia can be a heck of a thing, but do the movies we loved as kids really hold up? Is “Space Jam” really my favorite movie, or have I just not watched it since I was 10? In The Kokomo Post Rewinds, we will check out movies and shows from decades past and see if they hold up to today’s scrutiny.
This week’s theme: horror movies!
My parents were right. Television really is bad for you.
“Poltergeist”
I remember watching this movie as a kid, and being absolutely terrified. The idea of a monster movie without an actual monster didn’t seem scary to me, and then I learned how wrong I was. I loved horror movies when I was younger, and this story of a family fighting to save their child from an intangible evil was a favorite from a young age. I went into this one pretty nervous, because after last week with “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves,” I don’t really trust my memories anymore.
The Verdict: I’m excited to say this is still a great movie. The way it slowly turns up the horror without being overly gross or bloody, and while avoiding pointless jump scares is very impressive. I was very impressed by the acting, especially from the kids. One standout moment for me was when Robbie, the pre-teen son, first notices that Carol Anne has been abducted and trapped “inside the television.” His wide-eyed panic and frantic screaming were great — a performance few adult actors could match.
SCORE: 4 rumors that mixing Pop Rocks and Coke will kill you out of 5: With two mediocre (at best) sequels and an unnecessary remake, you should probably just rewatch the original again. Check out the trailer here.
Even Dolly hates it.
“Warlock”
I saw this movie for the first time when I was ten years old, and I absolutely LOVED it. I loved this movie, I loved the sequel, I wanted to watch them both again and again. This movie features a witch hunter and the titular Warlock battling through time after a magic vortex brings them from the late 1600s to the 1980s. I remember both horror and hilarity as the two learn about the new world they’re in while continuing their struggle. After “Poltergeist” proved just as good as my memories, I was ready to sit down for a great experience.
The Verdict: Holy wow, is this a bad movie. Just . . . so bad. The acting is over the top in all of the worst ways, the special effects are rough, even for the ’80s, and the writing makes both the acting and the special effects look like “Citizen Kane.” The only redeeming quality this movie has is that it ends, and even that is small comfort when you remember there are sequels. The second movie is unwatchable (I tried), and I found out there is a third but couldn’t bring myself to turn on. If someone in your life enjoys these movies, they are NOT your friend.
SCORE: 0 out of 5: This movie was so bad I can’t come up with a silly nostalgic analogy for it.
Holy smokes, is Reba McEntire in our movie?
“Tremors”
It turns out I’d never watched “Tremors” when I was younger. My father wasn’t a big Kevin Bacon fan, so it just never happened. Then for whatever reason, I always had it in my head that “Tremors” was just a terrible movie that would be a waste of my time (later movies in the series starring Jamie Kennedy helped with that assessment). So because of all of that, I never bothered to watch this movie, and even made fun of my friends who told me it would be good. But after watching “Warlock,” I clearly couldn’t be trusted to make my own choices anymore, so I sat down to watch.
The Verdict: This is a fun and silly movie that was a great palette cleanser from “Warlock.” It doesn’t take itself too seriously, but it does a good job building the tension of a town in fear of an unseen monster. Everyone in the cast did a great job keeping straight faces during some ridiculous dialogue, and Reba McIntire’s performance as a survivalist/prepper was delightful. I’m blaming my friends for not convincing me to watch this movie sooner, and ignoring that it’s my fault for not listening when they tried.
SCORE: 4 episodes of Legends of the Hidden Temple out of 5: They’re still making these movies, and I can’t comment on the quality of a film even Jamie Kennedy decided not to do. But if you want to give it a shot, check out the preview for “Tremors: Shrieker Island.”
